Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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