The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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