remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
