Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
In America we eat man semen.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
