I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am naked and annoyed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
