Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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