You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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