i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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