my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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