suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
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