Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
