just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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