Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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