its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
