I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
