Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
