youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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