No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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