Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think i have two assholes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize