I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
