I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am naked and annoyed.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
