I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At least make sure they are 18
Why
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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