You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
