Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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