Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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