I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
