the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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