she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
