i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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