This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
