You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
