Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
