All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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