What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
