I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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