shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
