i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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