I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
