the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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