So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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