So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Terrible idea I love it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
