You work out of a Hotel?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
