I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
