I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
