whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
