So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
only you would photoshop your dick
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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