Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
