So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
