you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
