I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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