I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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