what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
