It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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