well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
