We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
