wanna go halves on a baby?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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