Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
