Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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