Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize