Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
