After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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