I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
