it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
